A Time of Meditation II
The experience described in the last blog continued. Still breathing I again closed my eyes, my heart softened and my Soul was wide open. This time I expanded to the river itself. From the beginning I could feel it flow close to me. It was fast, powerful, and deep. And then I moved a step further into this process. And for a time I merged with it. I became the river. For a time the river flowed not just near me but through me.
I want to be very clear here. The river was not just adjacent, by me or close to me. I have had that sweet experience many times. This time it flowed through me. The illusion of separateness dissolved until I felt it deeply into my core. As I experienced this a shudder of energy pulsed from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair. My ego boundaries melted as they fell into the river just as snowflakes do when they fall into a river. This was not an experience of thought. The river traveled through my mind and then deeper than words, into experience, into the place of non-conceptual revelation. It was an experience of total organismic awareness. The boundaries merged and the river flowed through my entire being. There was no past no present no future. There was only this moment, this Eternal Now.
The experience was too much for some part of my personality and I was startled back to my ordinary state of awareness. The brevity of the moment does not lessen the intensity of its wonder. The doorway was opened in this moment to the beauty, majesty and connection of life in all of its forms. In one fashion or another, this doorway will now always be opened. My memory will always keep the door ajar. The doorway having been opened will always be permeable.
I absolutely live for moments like these. Without them life boils down to dull rationality and ordinary routine. However brief, I live for these experiences of glorious mystical oneness. It is not that other moments are bad or of no value but they are just not enough.
I know, at this point I am supposed to add something to the effect that the purpose of spirituality is not just to provide moments of bliss, ecstasy and wonder. It is important to be practical and live in this world as it is. However, the reality is I am alive to experience these moments. I live for the expansion of boundaries, for total presence to the leaves and rivers and to all the places where my Soul opens up.